It’s six o’clock, you’ve just returned home from another kak
(that’ll be directly translated to shit for our truly English friends) day at
work, the call you received earlier long since forgotten between compiling the
latest spend report for your technically challenged boss and balancing your
smoke breaks and lunch. You throw your keys on the counter, briefcase next to
the dining room table and crack your first beer. Relaxing, you make your way
towards your bedroom, kicking your shoes in a perfected Naas Botha drop, your
first shoe landing close to where your girlfriend will more than likely bitch
about its proximity to her side of the bed. It’s when you remove your cell
phone from your pocket you remember the call.
“Yes yes, I understand you’re doing your job, and I’m
currently doing mine, so if you really want to make the sales pitch, phone me
after five, when I’m home!” Sounds
familiar, doesn’t it? In the hope of the telemarketer not phoning you back, you
take the friendlier route in telling them they can phone back at a more
appropriate time. The question remains though, when is a more appropriate time?
Thinking the said telemarketer has certainly moved on by now
annoying yet another Joe Public, you decide to have some ‘me’ time. Between your
lactose intolerance and the poor state of the work’s ablutions, going to the
loo at work not being first priority. Only being human, you require some
stimulating reading material during your ‘me’ time. This being said, you’ve
been banished from the on-suite toilet to the guest toilet by your girlfriend,
and this being the guest toilet there’s no motivating/inspirational cream/hair
product labels to read. No worries you think, I’ve got Sudoku on my phone.
Brilliant, who says only woman can multitask? Without being crude,
concentrating on not spilling your beer while playing Sudoku and simultaneously
having ‘me’ time is no mean feat. Score one for the guys.
Whilst taking a swig from your beer, finding that illusive
nine across in-between blocks three and two, you at first don’t see the
incoming call. Got the nine you think, pressing enter. O shit, call answered.
“Hello sir, you’re speaking to Tshepo Piet Naidoo from
Modacell, my colleague forwarded the lead of earlier and I would like to inform
you that you’ve been preselected for a wonderful package including a free cell
phone”
“…Crap”
“No sir, I can assure you this is a legitimate deal”
“No, I said I’m having a crap”
…poop poop poop… (The dial tone of an ended call, not what’s
happening in the bathroom I can assure you)
Really for fuck's sake, when is an appropriate time?
